


The Semen Acquisition

by Rikkapikasnikka



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Cunnilingus, F/M, Hand Jobs, Masturbation, Potion Shenanigans, Semi-Public Sex, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:21:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26259346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rikkapikasnikka/pseuds/Rikkapikasnikka
Summary: After checking and rechecking, Marinette has to accept that her translation for this recipe in the Miracle Book is correct. The missing ingredient? Semen. And there’s really only one person she can ask.And Chat Noir is very excited to fulfil a favour for his Lady.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 33
Kudos: 188
Collections: September 2020 - Fulfill A Prompt, Smutember 2020





	1. not fap fresh enough

**Author's Note:**

> uhm-- yep. I wrote this.  
> The prompt is from the MLB Fanworks server by [MissNoodles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missnoodles).  
> I wrote this for her.
> 
> Chapter one is masturbation (Adrien)  
> Chapter two is handjobs in semi-public (Ladrien)  
> Chapter three is cunnilingus (Marichat)  
> (but all technically Ladynoir burrrr--)
> 
> Enjoy???

“Chat, I need a favour.”

He came to a skidding halt. Chat Noir had just been about to leap away after their weekly Akuma fight, but after their celebratory, “Pound it!”, Ladybug had yet to bug out. She stood, straight-backed and solid, her yo-yo dangling from her fingers, and the white butterfly still flapping around her head.

Chat swallowed, thickly. Quite abruptly, the sun felt too hot on his back. A part of him was excited to fulfil any request she asked of him; another part was whispering that she normally didn’t ask like  _ this. _

“Of course, Milady,” he replied, turning and sweeping into a deep bow. He passed one arm in front of his chest, crossed one leg behind the other, and looked up at her with as smouldering of a gaze as he could muster. “Anything for a woman as beautiful as you.”

Ladybug rolled her eyes, but there was a flush of pink on her face that made Chat smirk.

“Meet me in ten?” she asked, but Chat could hear the command behind it.

“Of course. Where?”

“Last night’s checkpoint should be fine.”

And there she went, zipping away on her yo-yo, the beeping of her earrings trailing after her. Chat sighed, before skedaddling away from the scene before the reporters could arrive.

It was a simple matter to find a private rooftop alcove, de-transform, feed and listen to Plagg whine about work, and then transform again and go meet his Lady. She was waiting at the exact spot they had ended last night’s patrol, and he landed beside her, grinning.

“So, Buginette,” he purred, leaning over his baton and fluttering his eyes at her. “What can this feline accomplish for you today?”

Ladybug shifted from one foot to the other, and Chat marvelled as her face turned first pink, then red, and then settled on a deep scarlet. From behind her back, she produced a small, clear glass jar. And then she was shoving it into his hands, and Chat dropped his baton to catch it. His claws clicked on the glass.

“Fill this,” she demanded, her cheeks still brilliantly red. Ladybug let go of it and Chat blinked at her in confusion.

“Fill it with….what?” he inquired, tilting his head. Chat was surprised when her blush turned nearly as dark as her suit, and he wondered if he had done anything wrong. “Milady, please, I want to help, but--”

“Semen!” she cried, her blue eyes going wide in desperation. Chat felt his jaw drop as Ladybug squeaked and hid her face in her hands.

“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmy--” She was mumbled a string of curse words and gibberish that made Chat’s head spin. Had she really said…? He shook his head. No, he must’ve misheard, but why else would she be so embarrassed?

“L-Ladybug,” Chat tried, cursing his stutter. “Uhm, I mean…” He looked down at the jar. “The...whole thing?” he choked out, suddenly realising how  _ big _ it was in his hands. It had to be at least five-hundred millilitres!

Okay, that wasn’t the question he had wanted to ask, but his brain was slowly turning to mush now that what she was asking was slowly dawning on him.

“What?” she squeaked, peeking out from behind her fingers. “Oh! No, no no, that’s not-- I mean-- I don’t know?”

“What do you  _ mean, _ you don’t know?!” Chat cried, his shoulders hunching as he took a step towards her. His boot hit his baton, and Chat stooped to pick it up before it could roll away. “LB, please, just tell me what’s going on--”

“I’ve been translating more of the grimoire,” Ladybug explained in a rush, her hands fidgeting now, instead of covering her face. Chat paused in hooking the baton behind his back, giving her his full attention. “There were sections that Master Fu didn’t… He didn’t provide anything.”

“It’s taken you five years to translate it?” Chat asked, his brow furrowing. Ladybug sheepishly looked away.

“It’s… Well, it’s taken me five years to learn enough Chinese to translate it…” She wouldn’t meet his gaze as she made her confession. “The guardians’ cryptograms don’t exactly decipher directly into French.”

Chat’s jaw dropped. “Why didn’t you tell me!” he exclaimed, suddenly excited. “Milady,  _ I _ know Chinese! I’ve been learning since I was eight, it’s really easy--”

She shoved a finger to his lips, and Chat went quiet. He also went nearly cross-eyed trying to look at it, poised so delicately in front of his nose.

“We’re not supposed to know anything about each other, silly kitty,” she said with a sad smile.

He pouted. Chat knew she was right, but the melancholy ache in his chest still hurt. He looked back down at the glass jar. “So, the book…”

“There’s a potion near the end,” she continued. “I’m not quite sure what it does, so I figured I’d just make it. But… It apparently requires, uhm…” Ladybug gestured between the jar and him. “The essence of a man,” she grumbled, her cheeks turning that adorable pink again. Chat awkwardly chuckled.

“Uhm…” He held up the jar to eye level. It was clean and sparkled in the afternoon sunlight. “So like, how much? I mean, if I start  _ now…” _

“Oh my lord, Chat!” Ladybug pushed him away, and Chat grinned at her as he stumbled backwards. She was absolutely adorable when flustered. “I don’t know! Really!” She added on as he raised an eyebrow at her. “Just… Once? I guess? It’s not like these potions take a lot usually…”

He could vividly recall several evenings of them sitting side by side, telling each other jokes and stories until they laughed themselves into oblivion, collecting as many tears of joy as they could in a small, glass vial. It always felt good to laugh, good to cry, and even better to share time with his best friend.

But those evenings were indeed few and far. The tears were potent.

“Alright, alright,” Chat teased, shaking the glass jar in her direction. “One and done, I understand. I’ll bring it tomorrow night?”

She stuck out her lower lip in a pout, but she nodded. “Tomorrow,” she agreed.

And then they separated, going home with dizzying thoughts and confused feelings.

* * *

Adrien’s gaze slid from his phone’s screen to the jar in his hand. It felt awkward to hold it; especially with how heavy it was, and the glass was cold and slippery. He scrolled a little further on his phone, before giving up and sighing. Adrien locked it, flopped backwards on his bed, and tossed the phone onto his nightstand.

Plagg came forward at the sound of the clatter. “What’s got you all up in a twist?” the Kwami asked, zipping towards Adrien’s phone to wake the screen. Adrien rolled his eyes.

“Ladybug asked for me to… She asked me for a favour, and I don’t know if I can do it.”

Plagg hummed, but Adrien wasn’t sure if he was interested or not. “If it’s such a big thing that she’s asking of you, you should do it, kid. Don’t let her down.”

Adrien snorted. “I don’t think I can get out of it, but I don’t really  _ want _ to do this. It’s embarrassing and...awkward.”

Slowly, the Kwami looked up from Adrien’s phone. “Awkward?” Plagg asked, his little face skewed in thought. “Adrien, what’d Ladybug ask you to do?”

He couldn’t bring himself to confess, so Adrien just raised and jiggled the jar in his left hand. Plagg stared at it, eyes narrowed. “Alright, and…?” Plagg pushed.

“She needs an ingredient for a new, uh, potion she found at the end of the grimoire and…”

Plagg’s eyes blew wide. “Oh, crap kid, I’m  _ out.” _

“Wait, Plagg, no--!” But the little Kwami was already zooming away, towards the bathroom.

“By the way!” Plagg called over his shoulder as Adrien groaned. “That won’t work! Don’t say I didn’t warn you!”

Adrien cursed and threw an arm over his eyes. This was  _ not _ getting him into the mood, and he wasn’t sure if he could. Normally, he did this in the shower; easy privacy, easy clean-up. But he couldn’t risk water getting into the jar…

And why had she given him a whole  _ jar _ anyway?! Just holding it in his hand, Adrien could tell he could drink out of it like a glass, and--

Nope, nope. He was shoving  _ those _ thoughts into the back of his mind. He did not want to think about Ladybug drinking anything, much less drinking potions made from--

He groaned loudly, squishing his face under his palms.

It took Adrien several minutes of loitering and procrastinating before he finally gave in. He propped himself up against his pillow, closed his eyes, and tried to focus.

At first, he allowed his thoughts to wander, allowed his body to relax and feel arousal, allowed himself to think of Ladybug in ways that he normally avoided. And only after that heavy weight in his belly started to build, did Adrien set the jar aside and allow his hands to wander.

His left hand caressed his face, his thumb running over his lower lip. Adrien could feel his breathing growing deeper, heavier, more desperate. He could imagine her hands on him instead, her fingers gently coaxing his chin up as her thumb forced his mouth open, and Adrien looked across his room with hooded eyes, seeing nothing. His chest rose and fell, each crest more exaggerated than the last, and Adrien shifted his hips and whined as his-- _ her _ thumb pushed into his mouth. He licked at it, but Ladybug teased him and pulled away, smirking.

Two of her fingers soon filled the empty space left behind, and Adrien eagerly sucked on them as her other hand trailed teasingly under his shirt and over his chest. He hissed when a nipple was pinched and rolled between the rough pads of his own fingers, but Adrien tried hard to imagine the sleek feel of her suit instead, gliding over his skin like ice water.

Ladybug let her fingers trail downward, and soon, she was grazing the top of his boxers. Adrien groaned when she cupped him through the cloth, and he swore he could hear her teasing chuckle. He shifted his legs so they were spread a little further, giving her better access.

And in his mind, she took advantage of that. She slipped her hand underneath the elastic band, palmed him, and quieted his whimpers by forcing a third finger into his already stuffed mouth. Adrien sucked eagerly, swirling his tongue over and between her knuckles, until she deemed it good enough. Slowly, Ladybug pulled her hand away from his mouth, gently lifted his dick free from his underwear, and wrapped around him with wet fingers. 

Adrien gasped and whined, the wet and chill surprising him. He bucked into his hand, still picturing his Lady, but everything else was scattering. Adrien rubbed the head of his cock, nudging aside the foreskin and deepening that ache in his navel. He groaned as he moved onto stroking the shaft, spreading precum and saliva and coaxing himself to full hardness.

"My… Milady, pl-please…" Adrien whimpered, his voice high and faint. His hips kept stuttering, seeking motion and pleasure, and soon, he was rocking into his closed fist. His mouth went dry, his mind went numb, and Adrien bent over himself as he chased his orgasm with fantasies and emotions.

It took a while, but it finally started to build. It was overwhelming at first, and Adrien nearly forgot about the jar until it nudged him, cold glass a shock against his hot skin. He hastily tried to arrange it between his legs, stroking himself more vigorously. He moaned Ladybug's name, over and over, until he bit hard into his cheek to quiet himself. Adrien still couldn't hold back all of his voice as his orgasm took over, crashing through his whole body like a wave, and he gasped and sobbed as he came. Through blurry eyes and a fogged mind, Adrien watched as he ejaculated into the glass jar, his Ladybug hand squeezing all it could out of his rapidly softening cock.

For a longer time afterwards, Adrien just sat there, panting and trying to come down from his high. He resisted the strong urge to let his eyes slide close and fall asleep. Shame and guilt came over him; thinking of his partner in such a context always made Adrien uneasy afterwards.

But…

Slowly, Adrien lifted the glass jar while tucking himself back into his pyjamas. About a teaspoon of spunk sat in the bottom, maybe a little less, and he titled the jar back and forth to watch it move.

Grimacing, Adrien swung out of bed and stood on shaky legs. His knees trembled as he wobbled to the bathroom. His body felt boneless and sated, but he put the jar on the counter, used the toilet, and then washed his hands. Once he hung the towel back up, Adrien retrieved the lid, screwed it on tight, and then stood and stared at it.

Mortification came over him. He snapped a hand to his mouth, eyes going wide, his breathing turning panicked. It was one thing to jerk off in the shower, where all evidence could be washed down the drain and he could leave his salacious thoughts behind, but…

But now he was staring at his shame, bottled into a jar for the woman he had just masturbated too, and Adrien groaned. Plagg peeked into the bathroom, holding his cheese.

"Wow," he said through a mouthful. "You really did it."

"Plagg," Adrien sighed, moving his hand up to his eyes and pinching his nose. "I really don't need a lecture right now."

"Oh that's okay, I don't have one," the Kwami smirked. "Just do me a favour, yeah?" Plagg swallowed the rest of his cheese in one bite. "When you have to do it again for her, de-transform first."

"What?" Adrien yelped, dropping his arm and turning to his Kwami, but Plagg was already cackling and zooming away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you [join the server](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) because of this fic please please PLEASE ask for the Sin role omg


	2. gotta be fresh from the fap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien delivers the goods to his Lady. 
> 
> There's only a slight problem: they've expired!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaaa  
> Here's part two,have fun/enjoy
> 
> Thank you Sibby for beta-ing this chapter, I love you dearly <3

The next day, Adrien came home from school and tried to ignore the fact that a certain glass jar (wrapped in brown paper and containing (one) orgasm’s worth of semen) was sitting in his bedside cabinet beside Plagg’s cheese stash. He sat at his desk and did homework, he paced in front of the couch, he tried to play the piano and push it from his mind, but the thought kept coming back to haunt him. Adrien was more than eager to get dinner over and done with so he could get that _thing_ out of his room.

And for once, he was thankful that his father didn’t show up for the evening meal because Adrien had no idea how he would’ve survived an awkward conversation with the man while knowing what was hiding in his son’s bedroom.

With dinner done and the sun starting to set, Adrien found an old bag in his closet and brought it over to his bed. He opened the cabinet, gingerly picked up the jar, and placed it in the bag. He was _not_ carrying a sealed container of his jizz to his Lady in plain view of all of Paris.

Taking a deep breath, Adrien turned and looked for Plagg.

“We should get going,” Adrien called, looking around, but the Kwami came from upstairs and yawned.

“Do we have to?” Plagg whined, lounging back and floating on his back. “Surely your spunky present can wait.”

Adrien flushed and spluttered, but he tried to get a hold of himself. “I promised her tonight, so it has to be tonight.”

“Sure, sure, whatever, just make sure you remember that--”

“We’re _not_ doing this again!” Adrien cried, mortified. “Plagg, _transform me!”_

And in a flash of green light, Chat Noir replaced Adrien Agreste.

Across the rooftops of Paris, Chat ran. He cradled the bag against his side as he used his free hand to pole vault with his baton, careful to not let the bag swing too wildly or clip the sides of buildings or chimneys. The last thing he needed was for it to hit something and the glass jar to shatter or crack. Chat bit his lip as the air rushed by him.

At least the sky was pretty. A rush of purples and pinks decorated the clouds, leftover from that morning’s rain. Deep indigo was already settling in the east, while the fading rays of the sun were still brilliantly orange. Chat paused at one point to catch his breath, admiring it.

“C’mon, slowpoke!” came a feminine voice from behind him, and Chat turned in its direction, his cat ears swivelling towards her. He smirked as Ladybug passed by him, swinging on her yo-yo. She lashed it around the nearest chimney, her body a graceful arc in the painted colours of sunset, and Chat sighed as she laughed and waved at him. He waved back, knowing he was thoroughly lovestruck - and struck dumb.

Remembering what was in his bag grounded him, and he took a running jump after her, using his baton to vault from roof to roof.

They landed together on their usual meeting place, and Chat instantly shoved the bag into her arms. Ladybug blinked as she quickly clung to it, her eyes wide. Chat could feel his face turning several degrees warmer.

“There,” he grumbled, shoulders hunching as he folded in on himself. “It’s in there. I did it.” He couldn’t look at her; he didn’t want to see her expression. “I’m sorry, it’s just--”

“Chat,” she said, her voice kind and soft. He looked up at her, his heart full of fear, but it eased when he saw that Ladybug was...smiling. She stepped forward and kissed his cheek - and Chat stood there, mouth gaping like a fish, his brain going blank. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I know I asked something...hard for you, but I appreciate it all the same.”

He couldn’t help it. “Was that a pun, Milady?” Chat jested, smirking as he leaned into her space. She laughed and pushed him back, and all of the anxiety that had been building in his chest over the past twenty-four hours suddenly burst free - allowing him some sense of relief. She wasn’t mad. She wasn’t hurt.

“Har har, very funny,” Ladybug drawled, rolling her eyes as she opened the bag and pulled out the offending jar. She turned away from him and walked along the roof, and Chat realised she had a plain, brown bag of her own strapped to her back.

The roof of this particular building was wide and crowded with chimneys and railings. Sections clearly had civilian access, but they had never seen anyone up here besides the pigeons. No one from below could see them if they hid amongst the bricks, and so they frequently met up here - if only to safely have private conversations and discuss plans.

But today, Ladybug had something different to show him. She peeled her backpack off slowly, juggling it and the one in her hand, and she set them both down on the concrete. Chat sat down with his back to a warm chimney, watching her as she pulled out various jars and containers.

“What’s all this?” he asked, genuinely curious. Ladybug glanced at him, frowning. She seemed to wrestle with herself for a moment before she finally gave in.

“It’s all the stuff to make our power-up potions,” she explained. “They all start with the same base--” She pointed at a very large jar full of clear liquid; to Chat, it just looked like water. “--and then you add your ingredients.” Ladybug held up a plastic container, and he could see that it was divided into sections on the inside. 

“These are the tears,” Ladybug said, picking up a purple velvet sack and opening it to reveal a glass vial. Chat stared at in awe: those were his _and_ her tears, combined and all mixed together. Yet the liquid in the vial was also clear; he didn’t know what he had been expecting though.

“You’re going to make the potion now?” Chat tilted his head, green eyes flickering from one container to the next. “Why?”

Ladybug hesitated. Chat wondered why she was so uneasy, but he trusted her to tell him in time. Sure enough, after she had emptied her backpack completely and had cleared her throat, she spoke again.

“The grimoire advises to keep ingredients as fresh as possible, and to have the potion be consumed as...as fast as possible.” She trailed off at the end, one of her hands playing with her one of her pigtails. Ladybug twirled it around her finger, nibbling her lip.

“Oh…” Chat gulped. “Is that why Plagg…”

Ladybug glanced up, narrowing her eyes at him. “Why Plagg what?”

Chat shuffled uneasily. “Plagg asked that if we...needed to do it again, that I detransform.”

Ladybug’s eyes went wide. “How does Plagg know? Did you tell him?!”

“No!” Chat cried, leaning forward and waving his hands. “I didn’t say anything, Milady! H-He’s probably just being a prankster, like usual, y’know? Haha?”

His laughter came out awkward. Ladybug’s harsh gaze didn’t quit, but she did return to assembling the potion. She pulled out the paper-wrapped jar from his bag, and she gave him a look that screamed, _“Really?”_

“S-Sorry,” he mumbled, blushing and looking away. She rolled her eyes, set it down, and picked up the largest jar with the clear liquid.

As she opened the containers that she would need, Chat’s mortification faded to curiosity. “So what is this potion supposed to do?” he asked, hoping it was a safe question. Ladybug shrugged.

“My Chinese isn’t great,” she said. “But my understanding is that, apparently, the usage of the miraculous in combination with fighting battles can be very hard on our bodies.” Ladybug picked up his jar, seemed to contemplate removing the paper, and decided against it. She put it down, opened it, and didn’t even look inside before pouring a little bit of the potion base inside. Chat leaned forward, ears twitching, wanting to know what she was doing. Ladybug looked apprehensive at first, but she didn’t tell him off.

She looked back to her work as she carefully used an eye-dropper to add a tear of joy. “And one of the areas that suffer the most is...reproductive.”

Chat blinked.

“Reproductive?” he repeated, feeling the colours starting to drain from his face. “Like...infertility?”

“I don’t know,” she said, both sadly and honestly. “I assume so. It’s old Chinese, and I’ve been having some difficulties.”

“Would it be possible for me to take a crack at it?” Chat pleaded, his face pulling tight around his eyes. He expected her to turn him down, but Ladybug seemed to at least think about his offer.

“You...wouldn’t be able to read the grimoire directly,” she explained, adding other ingredients to the jar: white, withered flower petals and the brown, shrivelled shreds of some kind of root. “But I can transcribe what I can into Chinese and get that to you.”

“Can’t you teach me?” he asked, but Ladybug was already shaking her head as she screwed the top of the jar back on. 

“No.” She furrowed her brow and picked up the container, her red hands wrapped around it like a bow. "The language can only be read by a guardian."

And then, Ladybug started to shake the jar. Chat watched wearily as she did so, hoping that the lid wouldn't suddenly pop off.

Thankfully, it didn't.

Ladybug set it down, unscrewed the lid, and then frowned at the contents.

"It…didn't work."

Chat tilted his head in a non-verbal question, and Ladybug gestured for him to come forward. He crawled over to her, sat beside her, and looked inside.

The petal and root she had added were swimming in the liquid, and while it had changed into some kind of greyish-blue shade, it didn't resemble any of the other potions Chat had seen. He winched.

Ladybug whined, and Chat bit his lip.

"Ugh!" She slammed the lid back on. "I thought that would be it! I thought for sure I had it!"

In anger, she put the jar back down, stood up, and started pacing. Ladybug crossed her arms, put her chin in one hand, and walked along the stretch of roof and back again. Chat watched her.

After only two passes, she stopped, and Chat froze as she pointed at him.

"What exactly did Plagg say?" Ladybug demanded. Chat swallowed the lump in his throat.

"He said it wouldn't work," Chat confessed. "He said that when I…have to do it again, I should de-transform first."

Ladybug's eyes went wide, and Chat felt himself shrink under her stare.

"Oh my goodness…" Ladybug said, her voice rising several octaves. "Do you think… Do the ingredients have to be _that_ fresh?!"

"Aren't they usually?" said Chat as he wrung his hands. "You always do them, so--"

"Yeah, but like, _days_ old kind-of-fresh, not _minutes."_ She was pacing again, hands in her hair. "Ooohh no, I can't--I can't ask you to, to--!"

The pieces clicked.

"You could," Chat said slowly. "I'd do it."

She stopped, rounded on him with wide eyes, and then she gestured at the rest of the building.

 _"Here?_ Chat, are you insane! Someone could--anyone might--!"

"I seriously doubt anyone is going to climb up here, LB," Chat tried to reassure her. "But if it makes you more comfortable, I'll try to hide it best I can."

Ladybug still looked frazzled and unsure, and Chat didn't know what else to offer her. He wanted to reach out, touch her, wipe away her fears, but he knew that wouldn't be happening.

"D-Do you...need help?" she asked next, and _that_ took Chat off-guard. He waved his hands frantically in front of him, eyes wide.

"N-No!" he half-screamed. "Maybe?" he added tentatively, but his mind screeched to a halt as Ladybug's face changed to something uneasy. "N-No, no. Definitely not."

She looked uncomfortable, but still she sat back down beside him. Chat felt his face go from moderately pink to a full-on blush. He turned his attention to the chimney instead, away from her staring, innocent blue eyes and soft, pink lips.

Nope. He was definitely not asking for help.

A red, gloved hand settled itself on his thigh, and while Ladybug and he had been in more compromising positions before, the touch felt way too intimate and Chat felt his blush deepen.

Suddenly, even with the sun setting and evening starting to settle in, the roof felt way too hot.

Chat tried to tug on his collar, but it didn't offer any relief. He swallowed.

"You're gonna be vulnerable," Ladybug mumbled. Chat held back a pained whine, but he felt the grumble in his throat. "Maybe I could--"

"Nope!" Chat stood up quickly, scooped up one of the empty jars, and tried to smile through the palpitations of his heart. It came out awkward at best, anguished at worst. "I'll be...totally fine! Yep! Just gonna-- _y'know--_ behind this, uh--" Chat glanced at the brick chimney, confused. He shook his head. "Just gonna get this over with! I'll be done in a jiffy!"

And then he rounded the corner and sat down on the shadowed side, breathing heavily.

"De-transform," he whispered, and Plagg flipped out of the ring, took one look at Adrien holding another empty jar, and cackled.

"I warned you!" Plagg zipped up and out of sight. "Call when you lovebirds are done!" 

"Plagg--!" Adrien nearly stood to go after the Kwami, but he stopped himself. Ladybug was on the other side. He couldn't just walk around, unmasked.

Feeling like a pervert, Adrien slid back down the chimney and sighed. He frowned at the jar, wondering how in the hell he was going to get this over with, 'in a jiffy' - and groaned.

"Chat?" Ladybug called, concern lacing her voice. Adrien swore under his breath. "Are you okay? I saw Plagg leave."

"Y-Yeah, Milady, everything's fine."

Everything was definitely _not_ fine. 

It took Adrien several deep breaths and minutes of psyching himself up just to undo his pants. But palming himself through his underwear while trying to clear his head was…difficult.

Normally, he thought of Ladybug.

But Ladybug was _right there._ Adrien refused to do that to her! 

He bit hard into his cheek and tried to dig deep for that feeling of arousal, but all that eventually came was an itch in his navel and a jolt in his hips. Little Adrien was as soft and limp as an overcooked noodle.

Adrien stopped trying and held his head in his hands. "Milady?" he said tentatively. "I… I can't do this."

She was quiet for a moment. "What's wrong?" she replied, her voice warm and worried. Adrien clung to that.

"I… I think it's just performance anxiety. That's all."

He could practically hear the gears turning in her head, see her teeth nibbling her bottom lip, feel her eyes studying the horizon. "Maybe… Maybe I can find a solution?" 

Adrien let out a bitter laugh. "How?" he snapped, dropping his hands, frustrated more with himself than her. 

"I d-don't know!" Ladybug snapped back, and Adrien laughed. “Let me just-- ugh! _Lucky Charm!"_

Adrien saw the pink light, but he didn't see what became of it. He wondered if her Kwami had given her a box of tissues, a bottle of lotion, a magazine--or worse, some sort of sex toy. Adrien was mortified at the mere thought.

She was quiet.

"LB?" Adrien called out.

"It's…" She swallowed. "It's a blindfold."

_Oh._

Well, Adrien supposed that worked too. 

"I'm coming over."

"Wh-What! Milady, no, that's not--" 

"Oh shush, Chat." Ladybug walked around the corner, and Adrien jumped, nearly scrambling to hide. But she was already tying the blindfold around her face; Ladybug couldn't see him, and so, he relaxed. In fact, she nearly tripped over him, and Adrien had to stop her by laying a hand on her shin.

"I know you think about me," she stated, setting down a different jar. The sly, knowing smirk on her face was causing Adrien's brain to dangerously short-circuit. He gaped at her like a fish, and he whimpered when her hand rested on his thigh again. Her fingers dug into his pants.

Her brow furrowed. "You're still wearing pants?" 

"I uh, didn't wanna get _naked,"_ Adrien tried, but she rolled her eyes (or seemed to), before shimming closer. Adrien found himself parting his legs for her so she could nestle between them.

Well, _that_ kickstarted his arousal. Seeing her in front of him, blindfolded and lips slightly parted, her cheeks flushed and hands ghosting over his thighs, with her suit catching the last of the dying light…

Adrien tried to not make a fool of himself and come in his pants.

He had to guide her at first. Her touches were shy, almost timid, and Adrien realised she had probably never done anything like this before. Her thumbs hooked into the waistband of his boxers, and Adrien felt his breathing hitch as the material of her suit tickled his hips. She hesitated.

"I'm fine," Adrien muttered, not really trusting himself to speak. "You… You don't have to do this."

In one swift movement, Ladybug pulled his pants and boxers down as far as she could. Adrien's legs were forced to accommodate the more awkward position, but the second her hands touched his cock, Adrien found he didn't care.

"I want to," Ladybug whispered, and Adrien shivered as she gently handled him. Maybe she _had_ done this before; Adrien wasn't sure which thought he preferred, but he could only grunt as her fingers lightly ran along the underside.

She dipped her other hand into the jar she had brought with her, and Adrien blinked as her fingers came away wet. He was confused for only a moment; the extra moisture made everything better, and Adrien moaned as he bowed forward.

The feel of her suit alone was astonishing. Smooth but lightly textured, flexible but oddly sturdy - it glided along his heated skin with the lubricant. Her fingers were amazing, her palms were incredible, and Adrien wrapped an arm around her shoulders to drag himself closer and hold himself steady.

Ladybug stiffened, and Adrien whimpered.

"Please," he breathed, pressing his face into her collarbone as she hesitated. "Milady, I'm-- I'm so--"

"It's too late for apologies, _mon chaton,"_ Ladybug said with a giggle, but he could hear the lilt that betrayed her nerves. Her movements resumed, and Adrien growled as her thumb pushed his foreskin down and away, rubbing across the head. He had to wrap his other arm around her as she continued, and she scooched closer so he could press his back to the chimney.

He was already fully hard. Adrien panted into her collar, aware of the embarrassing noises falling from his mouth but unable to do anything about them. He begged, quietly, pleading with her as her movements slowly increased and she gained more confidence. Adrien bucked into her hand, but every time he did, she tittered and pressed a hand to his hips.

After a particularly harsh jerk, she pushed him even further into the brick chimney, and Adrien would live in mortification for the rest of his life from the high pitched whine that left him. Ladybug chuckled into his ear.

"Do you prefer it rough?" she said lowly, and Adrien swore that if he wasn't broken already, she broke him then.

"It's--" Adrien's mouth was too dry to form words, and he had to lick his lips and swallow. His hips tried to thrust, and she pushed even closer. They were nearly chest to chest, her hand and his dick caught between them. "It's pretty hot."

Ladybug laughed again, and Adrien couldn't help groaning as her mouth brushed his ear. She must've recognised it, because her lips soon closed over the lobe. Her teeth were sharp, and Adrien gasped.

Ooooh, he was done for.

But he had known _that_ a long time ago. 

She kept him pinned to the chimney with one hand, not that Adrien minded in the least. Her lips were wet on his neck and ear, her small body heavy against his own, but it was the almost-lazy up and down, squeeze and rub of her glove on his cock that started to undo him. Adrien heard himself swear as his arousal built, and built, and _built--_

It stopped briefly and he keened.

But Ladybug's hands were back on him soon enough, and Adrien opened his eyes to see that she had grabbed the empty jar. He closed his eyes again, tried to focus on her and now instead of why and then, and sobbed as the heat crested, fell, and crested again. She wasn't doing enough, he realised.

"Pl-Please…" Adrien pleaded, his lips moving against her suit as he clung to her. One of his hands fell from her shoulder, and he shakily wrapped his fingers around hers. Ladybug paused, but he urged her to keep going. "Milady, m-more!"

This time, when the arousal started to peak, Adrien was able to force her to increase the speed and the pressure on his cock. He screwed his eyes shut tight as he felt the wave come, crest, and finally crash. His orgasm hit him hard, and Adrien half-sobbed, half-moaned her name as he ejaculated into a jar--again.

They sat there for a while, her hand still tight around him, panting into each other's ears. Ladybug patted him on the back with her free hand, and Adrien grunted as his hips shifted. He felt sore, drained, and sated all at once. His muscles, especially in his legs, protested as he tried to relax.

"Uhm," he said quite eloquently. "Thanks."

"N-No problem," Ladybug returned, her face red and embarrassed behind the blindfold. Adrien snorted in amusement.

"First handjob?" he asked, slowly detangling himself from her. She followed in his movements, and Adrien set the semen collection aside so she could properly move away.

"While blindfolded, definitely," she teased, and Adrien felt his heart sink. He reminded himself that she was an adult; Ladybug's civilian-self was free to sleep with (or give handjobs to) whoever she liked.

"I'm really sorry, Milady. You didn't have to do…that," Adrien mumbled, feeling the familiar guilt and shame pool in his gut as he tucked himself away and redid his pants. "But uh, thank you. Best orgasm I think I've ever had."

She laughed, a little awkwardly, and she reached out a hand to him. Adrien handed her the jar with his spunk. "I'll take that as a compliment then."

"Are you both decent yet?"

Adrien looked up at Plagg, who was leaning on the top of the chimney. Adrien rolled his eyes, called for his transformation, and then undid Ladybug's blindfold once his own face was safely covered.

She grinned at him.

"Don't worry," she wiggled the jar in his face, and Chat Noir scrunched up his nose. Ugh, his superpowers allowed him to _smell_ that now! "I'll forgive you on one condition."

Chat blinked as she walked back to where the potion ingredients were set up. The sun was completely set now, but the sky still had some colour. "What?"

"Give me one in return when we make your potion, okay?" Ladybug said with a wink, already mixing ingredients.

Chat felt his eyes nearly bug out of his head as his heart stopped. Ladybug just laughed, already smiling as this time, the potion came together perfectly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you [join the server](https://discord.gg/mlfanworks) because of this fic please please PLEASE ask for the Sin role omg


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